Ain’t None Of Your Business!

You THINK you know what you sound like.
Yes you doooo.

Butcha don’t. You Can’t!
Know how I know? Cuz acoustically I’m way over hear, listening to you project towards me (hopefully).
You are inside your body listening through bone and tissue and not in the correct spot to hear yourself at all!
Its that simple! Plus we are looking at you and that can take up more of our attention then anything else.

Plus throw in a little judgement and its over!
Its too hard to tell the real impact a voice being driven by YOU has! Plus, if your good, you’re too busy driving to notice.

I know, for myself, that I am way too close to my own process to be objective.
I wish someone had clued me in about this long ago. I’d have relaxed a lot!

For the last 15 years, when I get offstage, I ALWAYS have someone close by give me 2 seconds of feedback.
“How was it?” Because I honestly do not know! I can hardly remember! I was too busy singing.
So I depend on someone I trust giving me quick, objective feedback.

For the first ten years of my ‘singing with the band’ career the only feedback I got, besides “Divy, that was great” was “well, it was kinda hard to hear you because….” and then I’d get to hear how all my vocal efforts were mostly drowned out by a band playing all over itself and not being able to hear itself play!

This prompted me to be the Queen Of Amazing Monitor Systems. Much to the annoyance of most of my drummers. They being directly behind me and in the line of fire from my VERY clear monitor speakers. My drummers could hear me as well as I could. I trained a lot of young drummers to play underneath in THE number one supportive position, as the rhythm section, and not all over the front line as a soloist.

Anyway, the point is, as you stretch and strengthen and mold and expand a beautiful singing voice you cannot tell what you really sound like. For that matter you can NEVER tell what the effect you had on your audience really was. Most honest performers know this much.

Letting a performer know what they made you feel and think during their performance is always great feedback for them. And letting them know what the overall effect was, how you perceived they effected the audience, is SUCH welcome feedback. Even if its just your opinion, its another point of view the singer cannot really have themselves and would love to know about.

So, if you can, be generous with yourself: get real feedback about what you just did onstage. It’ll help you relax, learn and strive for more. It’ll get you to not question your performance so much after its done!

Remember: While your growing a new voice…its none of your business what you sound like! Its too early to tell anyway!
Trust your amazing vocal coach and just keep a goin’! If you don’t like what you sound like on your rehearsal CD then just
remind yourself that it DOESN’T MATTER!

It really doesn’t.

Not right now anyway….give yourself the gift of trusting your feedback people and relax. Keep working it.
Trust the process!

This is Divy Nelson for
The SIngers’ Daily