Now, in this new season of my life, I’ve ended up with the friends I started out with. Even some from high school (thanks to Facebook!)

Some old friends have become new friends. We grew apart then came together again. Some of the newer ones are more like Brothers in Arms. Man what we’ve seen and been through… it’s quite a bond.

But mostly I’ve got the friends and family I started with…
The Long Haulers. Through thick and thin.

Everyone in between seems to have drifted or self-destructed. Either way, they’re gone.
Even if they’re breathing, we’re not friends. Even in the knowledge of Oneness we don’t connect.

That’s just the way it seems now.

Singing, then, saves my heart its breaking routine…over and over.
For I ‘ve had this thought for so long, of loyalty and platonic friendship being somehow sacred.
When they leave it breaks my heart.

I think that’s left over from the playground but I don’t know for sure.

Singing by myself I put these people, whom I thought comrades, into the lyric. I sing to them and for them.
Its a joy to bring myself to tears…while singing to them.

I’m so easy.

Somewhere, I convince myself, they must hear me. How could they not?
Such a plaintive, tearful rendition of “It Had To Be You” or “Smile”…
Or One of my original compositions written specifically for an old, departed (at least from MY life) pal.
Oh my god the tears doth flow. What a sap.

And after singing the requiem for them I FEEL BETTER!
I do!

Singing, just the physical/spiritual act, is so balancing and cleansing.
I pour my entire desire for them through the song and ‘poof’ I’m free…
free of the whole, heavy syndrome of
perceived loss.

Ahh the Daily Singer…that’s what I am. I sing daily and it heals me totally.
Why would anyone want to learn to sing?
Hmmmm Good question! To be famous?

For me its the only church in town. The one that travels with me.
But, on occasion, when I do sing in a church, I can really bring the house down,
knowing how much God sings to himself. Telling Himself its all worth it.
That we will all sing and heal and play in the garden together
once again…

and be friends.

This is Divy Nelson for
The Singers Daily
May 2009